I'm slowly getting back on track

I woke up today with full sadness in my heart. I have dreamed of
leaving him. I told myself, "maybe you should..." But the next
question is how? Will I be able to do it by myself. I was never alone
since I was a teenager. I entered into a relationship at a tender age
of 17. Since then, I was never alone after 2 exs and 1 current, I
don't think I could not live alone.

I thought, "how could I do it?" How will it be possible? Will it be
possible? I was surfing the net for coping mechanisms. Reading about
anxiety. My hands and feet sweat everytime he's near me. Is that
anxiety? I think so.

So I planned it in my mind, I have to start and think where I should
be living after I get out from this relationship. I surfed
sulit.com.ph and I stumbled upon Xevera of Globe Asiatique. I know
that there might be a problem with getting a PagIbig fund loan since
there was the supposed scam between GA and ghost borrowers, but even
without that, I might still have a problem since it's been 2 years
that I've been unemployed and that I haven't been paying my PagIbig
contribution. I'll try to find out tom if I could just voluntarily pay
my contribution.

I already emailed a realty estate broker to inquire regarding the
properties at Xevera. I hope he replies soon. I want to do this fast.
I think it's going to be less painful if it's done fast and as quick
as possible. Maybe I have to ask my father for help with the equity so
that I could move in right away. Then I'll just look for a job in
Pampanga that would be able to support my daily needs.

I have searched for jobs that are available in Mabalacat, Pampanga
(where Xevera is located) and from what I remember, there are jobs for
me. I could easily apply in a call center in Clark. I think with my
7years experience in marketing, retail, and customer service, I won't
have a hard time acing a job. But the question now is, how would I go
to the interview? I don't think I could hide it. So maybe I have to
leave and settle myself first in Pampanga before applying. I think
that's more realistic.

So even after I get the money to move out and move to Pampanga, the
next hurdle would be the actual transfer. Over the years, I have
accumulated such a number of possessions. Mostly books and I don't
think they'll all fit in my car.

Also, how would I tell my partner that I'm leaving him? I just want to
start anew. I want to start a different life. I don't know this
feeling but I'm quite excited just thinking about it.

Let me know if this is a good move. What do you think? Is it a good
move? Would you think it's going to be easy for me to move away from
Manila and move to Pampanga? What would happen with our businesses
that are both in our names? Should I file for a dissolution of the
partnership at SEC?

Please help. Thank you in advance.